Guitarology #16

Guitarology #16

10 Things You Need To Survive on the Road

In no particular order and not necessarily exclusive to bands on the run:

1. The Mag-Lite I do not mean the six D-size battery alternative to a bludgeon favored by security forces everywhere, but the small version hung from the belt of every roadie, sound, and light technician worth their salt. The Mag-Lite should be kept in an accessible place at all times so as to be readily available for transportation breakdowns, to find stuff you've dropped, and to check the teeth of those claiming to be above the age of consent.

2. The Leatherworker The other item hung from the belt of pro roadies and technicians. The Leatherworker is a somewhat more up-to-date version of the ubiquitous Swiss Army knife. Besides a similar assortment of blades and screwdrivers, the Leatherworker is more robust, the tools are more functional, and even includes a pair of pliers, which are actually useful. Interesting fact - dressed completely in black with a Mag-Lite and a Leatherworker on your belt, and an attitude of rushed purpose, one can usually enter any theater, concert hall, or similar venue through the back door without challenge.

3. Tylenol An all-purpose pain killer, easier on the stomach than aspirin and gentler on the system in general. No side effects such as drowsiness or other brain numbing. One normally is sufficient, but if the problem persists, a second will usually do the trick. When I was in hospital it was given to me as the second line after the morphine limit was reached. Cheap to buy in generic form over the counter. One VERY IMPORTANT caveat: Tylenol does not mix particularly well with alcohol.

4. Multivitamins Not only do we commonly not eat properly on the road, but even if we manage to keep the diet together the extra stress and strains take a toll. The body requires as much help as it can get. Keeping energy at reasonable levels without the use of so-called "performance enhancing" substances is vital—First, to keep people in a decent frame of mind and not be at each others throats due to exhaustion, and also to be able to perform on stage at one's best. I recommend GNC's Mega Man or Ultra Mega Woman, depending on one's gender. Besides having the silliest name this side of Marvel Comics and thus the potential for lots of good running jokes, they are of a very high quality and kick some serious nutritional butt.

5. Spare Parts One should try and adopt what NASA calls, "What if...?" Try and think of what might break or let you down and have a spare or even two. Not only for yourself, but in case any of your compatriots should come unstuck. Not just the obvious things like instrument strings (although these you should have in abundance considering how incredibly cheap they are to buy at Stringthis.com, but items such as fuses, batteries, screws, and most certainly amp tubes. I even bring an extra strap, capo, and guitar stand. Having spares of these things has meant at one time or another being able to keep what could have been a disastrous show stopper to the level of a minor hiccup.

6. Maps & Directions This may sound the most obvious, but it is truly a wonder how easy it is to get lost anywhere. Having detailed directions with landmarks ("turn left at Taco Bell") is ideal, but even then one can miss a turn and not be able to recover. Depending on how far a field you're headed, you may want to have city street maps as well as state or national maps. Many venues have route descriptions on their web sites. Often the town or city web site will include maps.

7. Mobile Phone Personally I hate these damn things, but have to admit they are a required tool. Once again, useful for obtaining directions when one goes astray, emergency situations such as transportation breakdowns, or informing anyone who might need to know if you're stuck in traffic or such. Very important to be sure to keep it charged with both power and credit if you have a pre-pay. There is little worse than being in a remote location, about to be abducted by the Mother Ship, with no way to phone the venue because the battery's dead.

8. Business Cards These should be personal as well as for the group, if you are traveling with one. There have been many times when I have wanted the phone number of a player within a band for future reference if I had work to offer. I rarely manage to save scraps of paper. I always keep cards. Include not only phone number, but an e-mail address and URL if you have one. I'm finding e-mail to be an increasingly more popular method of communication these days. Having cards to hand out also means you don't have to fish about to find something to write down the phone number of that possibly important contact who doesn't have a card of their own, that devastating creature with the come hither smile, for example.

9. Common Sense Having adventures is one of the great things about being on the road. Trick is to stay alive to tell the tale. There are wrong places and wrong times to be there. There are wrong people to be with as well. Drink and drugs can be very tempting indeed, especially when offered in the party atmosphere of post gig euphoria. Thing is, at best you're just borrowing from the body's energy bank and like all banks there is pay back time. It'll want everything you borrowed plus interest. It's the interest that's the killer.

10. Sense of Humor Possibly the most important of things not to forget. Problems, crisis, and stress are a fact of traveling life. Maintaining one's sense of humor, and that ability to see the silliness relative to the greater scheme of things, is absolutely essential to road survival. It is the greatest preventive to burn out there is. Trust me, there are times when circumstances get so ridiculous all one can do is laugh because it is just all too silly. These are the situations which turn into the best of stories and, if you're really clever, some of the best songs.

C 2007 Steve Power

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